White Cabinet

The inside of my white cabinet
Embodies everything that I am;
It’s a mess that’s locked away
Like the secrets in my brain.

Books and notebooks
Are not the only content,
Letters, notes and artworks,
Gifts, cards and pictures,
My past, my present,
And maybe even future,
Are all part of the scenery
Like the memories in my mind,
The thoughts that dwell inside
And feelings I try to hide.

Like the enigma that’s my being
And which my mind keeps concealed,
The inside of my cabinet
Is a sight not to be seen.

Copyright © 2007 Daisy Tchiftjian

In The Background

Sailing through my family photographs
Used to be my favorite childhood hobby;
To behold savored instances from the past,
Whether they did or didn’t include me.

There’s one picture that I liked most,
Of my then five-year-old brother,
Looking angelic and so enviably pretty
That I’d boast to my friends that it was me!

In that photo, my mother sits in the background;
Her part is darker but her ardently glowing grin -
Which she directs at her smiling little son -
Is simply far too bright to be left unseen.

Twenty-eight years after that picture
I now happen to look at another.
There’s my nephew who was then one year old,
And behind him laughing, his toy I hold.

My mother’s still grinning in the background,
Her gaze, this time, directed at her grandson.
Her defiant grin - still bright, still lively, still wide -
Always keeps setting my own spirit wild.

Eternity steals moments with these shots, but I -
I wish to snatch Infinity from the grip of Time
For I fear, one day, to look at a picture of my Child
And not see my mother’s defiant grin in the background…

Copyright © 2007 Daisy Tchiftjian

A Feeling

A feeling surrounds my awakening
this morning, like a sea
all around the island of my bed.

A feeling of irretrievable loss
like an emptied bottle of wine,
a letter dropped into the mailbox,
like a present
once it is opened and becomes a thing,
like a woman
once she’s sure she’s loved.

A feeling
more strange than sad,
debilitating
rather than depressing
like a black hole inside
swallowing all that mattered
and light.

The feeling that this morning
someone as near
as a sister-beloved-friend and as remote
as any stranger
someone
dreaming of me
died.

Leonardo Alishan (1951-2005)

Born in Tehran to Armenian parents, Alishan moved to the US in the early '70's for graduate studies, after which he taught Persian literature and comparative literature in the University of Utah. He has two published poetry collections: "Dancing Barefoot on Broken Glass" and "Through a Dewdrop". He died in a tragic fire incident at his home in Utah, on January 9, 2005.

People don't know what they deserve: they either underestimate it or overestimate it.

Copyright © 2007 Daisy Chitfjian

A poem from the Inside Cover of "Splendor Solis"

I'll show you the door when you decide to hold on to all that you've lost.
You see, all this is nothing when she comes and tears you apart.
Of course, all this is nothing if you hold the key to her heart.
I told you I am your saviour and your truth.
When you get down on the floor,
I will steal the soul from you if there is no truth.
Let's end this lie tonight.

When the thirteenth apostle is knocking at my door,
A new sun is rising in the east.
Did I tell you that?
It's true.
So sing thorughout the streets and sing throughout the night.
Go and tell the people my soul is aflight.
Although you might save me from all these emotions that are filling my mind,
All of your healers are still hurting my kind.
I will watch what the rain blows in,
And I will continue to tell people that a climb to the holy land
Is a slide to the devil's hand.

Something is going to change these times and I'll watch them fade away.
So if they want to keep me hung on their crosses
They'll have to find some bigger nails.
I will continue to walk these streets like a doubting Thomas
And I'll swear at saints when they pass me by.
Nothing is pure when everything is tainted.
Where am I going to go when I die?
So you see, I'll try to let you go and I'll try very hard to forget.
I don't think my thought will subside,
I guess I'm just losing my mind.
I'm walking alone, I'm standing in the sun.
I'm thinking about my life and how it's barely just begun.
I want to run.

- The Tea Party

God gave women PMS to establish a balance with the inconsistency found in men.

Copyright © 2007 Daisy Tchiftjian

Unrequieted....

I wonder if it’s ever possible that one day the only issues in the world would center around health only …and not power. Not politics. Not finance. Not wealth nor poverty. Not racism. Not religion. Not wars and genocides. Not inequality. Perhaps even not any other kind of crimes….

I wonder if there can exist a world where the word “oppression”, its synonyms, and every related word to it will cease to exist in the minds of the living generations, become incomprehensible, unnecessary and ancient.

Perhaps one day cultural diversities and social differences would be celebrated and not perceived as a threat to one’s own.

Perhaps one day the big fish will leave the small fish alone. Perhaps it will help them become as big themselves, or simply make itself as humble instead of becoming more gluttonous.

I wonder if it’s possible that humans will ever be altruistic … and not selfish.

I wonder if life can exist without the need to struggle for Survival…but with the gusto to Live.

Then I wonder if it’s really altruistic – and not selfish - to harbor these illusions in my mind.

Copyright © 2007 Daisy Tchiftjian